The film tells the story of the Blanche family who run a dark and dismal health resort on a remote island which is only accessible by ferry. The spa program consists of feeding the guests seaweed and eel-based meals, then administering liberal colonic irrigation. The spa is run by the family matriarch Dame Blanche until her death. Things continue on with her children running the resort until Kath, the resort’s former sous chef and love interest of one of the sons, comes back to the island unannounced. Stranded between monthly ferries, she is a catalyst for a series of events that turns life as it is known at Hotel Splendide on its ear.

Lorraine believes there’s a lost portal to another world in Essex. As she explores time and space with her friends and family will she be proven wrong or be vindicated?