Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment – such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing “Neckbelts” and a study finding that “depression hits losers hardest”. This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.
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Tiffany and Marcus decide to wed during the holiday season in the rural town where Tiffany grew up. Tiffany’s older sisters and their husbands are visiting as well. Coming together may not have been such a good idea as the married couples bring along some baggage that may cause the unmarried to think twice before making a life changing decision.
Randy Daytona was a child ping pong prodigy who lost his chance at Olympic gold when his father is murdered by the mysterious Feng over a gambling debt. 15yrs later he’s down on his luck and scraping a living doing seedy back room shows in Vegas; when the FBI turn up and ask for his help to take down Feng… who just happens to love Ping Pong.
An orphaned boy raised by underground creatures called Boxtrolls comes up from the sewers and out of his box to save his family and the town from the evil exterminator, Archibald Snatcher.
Lolle’s love life in Berlin is as complicated as ever. After the story with Sven, her second cousin, was over, she got together with her best friend Hart and the two are about to get married. That is, if Sven doesn’t ruin things.
Wisecracking mercenary Deadpool battles the evil and powerful Cable and other bad guys to save a boy’s life.
Killjoy is back in the fourth installment of the demonic clown series. This time Killjoy is being accused of not being evil, since he let one of his victims(Sandie) get away. Killjoy must rely on his only chance of proving how evil he really is… get Sandie into hell as his witness.
Concert pianist Henry Orient (Peter Sellers) is trying to have an affair with a married woman, Stella Dunnworthy (Paula Prentiss), while two teenage private-school girls, Valerie Boyd (Tippy Walker) and Marian Gilbert (Merrie Spaeth), stalk him and write their fantasies about him in a diary. Orient’s paranoia leads him to believe that the two girls, who seem to pop up everywhere he goes, are spies sent by the husband of his would-be mistress. When Val’s mother, Isabel Boyd (Angela Lansbury), finds their diary, she suspects that Henry has acted inappropriately with her daughter. She contacts Orient and they end up having an affair. Val finds out about it, as does her dad.
Fans flock to a festival celebrating the most iconic horror movies, only to discover that the charismatic showman behind the event has a diabolical agenda. As attendees start dying off, three teenagers with more horror-film wits than real-world knowledge must band together and battle through every madman, monstrosity, and terrifying scenario if they have any hope of surviving.
A suicidally disillusioned liberal politician puts a contract out on himself and takes the opportunity to be bluntly honest with his voters by affecting the rhythms and speech of hip-hop music and culture.
Life for a single mom in Los Angeles takes an unexpected turn when she allows three young guys to move in with her.
New York City. Melvin Udall, a cranky, bigoted, obsessive-compulsive writer, finds his life turned upside down when neighboring gay artist Simon is hospitalized and his dog is entrusted to Melvin. In addition, Carol, the only waitress who will tolerate him, must leave work to care for her sick son, making it impossible for Melvin to eat breakfast.
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