Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment – such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing “Neckbelts” and a study finding that “depression hits losers hardest”. This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

Hutch Mansell, a suburban dad, overlooked husband, nothing neighbor — a “nobody.” When two thieves break into his home one night, Hutch’s unknown long-simmering rage is ignited and propels him on a brutal path that will uncover dark secrets he fought to leave behind.

Greg is a love addict whose girlfriend left him for their couples therapist. Depressed, heartbroken, and unemployed, Greg must find a roommate to help pay rent. But Greg scares all potential roommates away, except for a girl named Peyton who moves in and whom Greg falls madly in love with.

A humble young man with uncommon skills from a small southern town gets caught up in high stakes golf matches between big-time gamblers until the game becomes life and death.

In this dark, tongue in cheek, British Horror, six friends take a holiday in the heart of the English countryside which turns into a culinary nightmare when they discover that their hosts are a sadistic family of cannibals, set on turning their guests into their next meal! It’s nice to have your friends for dinner

Musical dancer on the way out (at 36) Paula McFadden had it swell with actor Tony DeSanti, but instead of taking her to Hollywood he gets a European movie part. He even sublets their (his) New York apartment to Elliot Garfield, who generously lets her stay, even keeping the master bedroom. Pragmatic pre-teen daughter Lucy soon takes to his charm, but Paula remains determined to hate all actors. Despite the stress of a Broadway Shakespeare lead he must play too queer for Frisco, he’s determined to snatch romance from ingratitude.

Marley’s brilliant at organizing other people’s engagements, but unlucky in finding romance herself. When designing her most important proposal yet, the man who could jeopardize it all may be the one who helps find her own love story.

Comedy – A girl moves back to her home city and struggles to maintain an old friendship whilst a new & exciting one emerges. – Rain Fuller, Michael Edward Williams, Nathan Barillaro

Two young people arrive in New York to spend a weekend; once they arrive they are met with bad weather and a series of adventures.

A commitment-phobic 27-year old’s relationship is put to the test when she and her boyfriend attend 7 weddings in the same year.

A message from Jim Morrison in a dream prompts cable access TV stars Wayne and Garth to put on a rock concert, “Waynestock,” with Aerosmith as headliners. But amid the preparations, Wayne frets that a record producer is putting the moves on his girlfriend, Cassandra, while Garth handles the advances of mega-babe Honey Hornee.

In the Antarctic, after an expedition with Dr. Davis McClaren, the sled dog trainer Jerry Shepherd has to leave the polar base with his colleagues due to the proximity of a heavy snow storm. He ties his dogs to be rescued after, but the mission is called-off and the dogs are left alone at their own fortune. For six months, Jerry tries to find a sponsor for a rescue mission.