Venerable newscaster Norm Archer reports the latest news in politics, health, culture and entertainment – such as an automotive recall of decapitation-inducing “Neckbelts” and a study finding that “depression hits losers hardest”. This compilation of bogus news stories, celebrity profiles, movie trailers and skits come courtesy of the ace satirists at The Onion.

Mikaela has undergone gender reassignment surgery and become a woman. One night at a bar, she meets a guy and takes him back to her place.

Set in the near future where Rhett Murphy and his estranged sister Jean are forced to flee from a militant police state after witnessing the dark secrets of a nefarious corporation.

Captain William Stanaforth is on a one-way solo mission to take the first steps in colonising Mars. Like all pioneers throughout history, Stanaforth will face insurmountable odds and life and death decisions as he rockets bravely through space.

After the assassination of Tokyo’s Governor by Yakuza members, the CIA bureau chief (William Atherton) for Tokyo puts out a call to an agent (Steven Seagal) that had been raised in Japan and trained by ex-Yakuza. Using his former ties, he quickly determines that a war is brewing between old-guard Yakuza members and a young, crazed leader (Takao Osawa) with ties to the Chinese Tong.

In December 2004, close-knit family Maria, Henry and their three sons begin their winter vacation in Thailand. But the day after Christmas, the idyllic holiday turns into an incomprehensible nightmare when a terrifying roar rises from the depths of the sea, followed by a wall of black water that devours everything in its path. Though Maria and her family face their darkest hour, unexpected displays of kindness and courage ameliorate their terror.

15-year-old deep-thinking Welsh schoolboy, Oliver Tate struggles to initiate and maintain a relationship with Jordana, his devilish, dark-haired classmate at their Swansea high school. As his parents’ marriage begins to fall apart, similar problems arise in his relationship with Jordana.

A charming, suicidal druggie must obey his rehab-clinic’s demand to lead a seniors men’s group or face incarceration and lose the love of his psychiatrist’s daughter.

The tentative romance between a gentle Madrid labourer and a working single mother becomes a struggle for survival when the woman’s violent boyfriend returns from prison, in the gritty, suspenseful debut feature from Spanish actor Raúl Arévalo.

SCARCE depicts the gruesome fate of three lost snowboarders trapped at an isolated forest cabin owned by two menacing locals who harvest human flesh. As the day of the slaughter nears, they attempt to escape barefoot through the frozen wilderness.

Siya appears to be the bone of contention between warring businessmen Aditya and Saurav. But this one runs deeper than your average love triangle.

A rare mutation has occurred within the vampire community – The Reaper. A vampire so consumed with an insatiable bloodlust that they prey on vampires as well as humans, transforming victims who are unlucky enough to survive into Reapers themselves. Blade is asked by the Vampire Nation for his help in preventing a nightmare plague that would wipe out both humans and vampires.